This year was nothing short of fast pace and filled with quick decisions wether right or wrong.

         Welcome to the end of 2010, alot has happened for me this year.  I have lived in four different locations in three different states.  The first half of the year was spent studying my hardest classes yet, after classes had ended the second half of my year was looking good,  I headed to Arizona with Mr. Fent worked for a few months came back this time to my home in Clare.  Had a great time with my friends while I was back and then moved here to Hollywood.  This year was nothing short of fast pace and filled with quick decisions wether right or wrong.   A fast pace year has really made me realize that it is your real friends are who you can always talk to at all times of the night and are normally always up for you.  This year has also emphasized how important my family really is, nice to know some people won't give up on me!
Happy New Years
TB
 
New Year's goals:
Get Headshots
Be in a commercial

I had a good Christmas out here! I had gone with Jeremy and Marc to Marc's Aunts for brunch. It didn't really feel like Christmas at all. I skyped with my family which was really nice. Not much is too new for me, I have been working alot more making coffee so I shouldn't be having money troubles so that's awesome.
I've gotten alot of advice out here with how to "get started" it's funny that so many people feel the need to share...for instance today it felt like these guys were like telling me things I had to do..I do like advice but
sometimes people who are giving me advice I think are talking just to hear themselves talk...now I sound like an asshole. But I do welcome advice by I like to know why my source is credible.

Asshole

Can I bum a cig/worst day in West Hollywood

Today was my first day at Starbuckz now that I'm offically a barista...so now I get tips! It has been raining for along time now...days. So when I went to work I was looking for a spot and couldn't find one so I parked in the 2 hr parking untill 7 when your car gets taking way by the traffic police. It was raining real had when I went to work. I had to drive through some deep water. So I forget to set my watch for two hours so I could move my car because I was more worried about not getting wet so I ran in. When I got out of work I walked down the road which I parked and am like where is my car. And it suddenly hit me...my car got towed! :( Knowing where your car is at certain times is something that I have learned is a must...especially for a poor kid. So I looked up at a sign where I lost my car and called the number and discovered that it is going to cost me $200 to get it back...but wait so after the first 24 hours it goes up...So I don't have $200 I had to call my dad at 1am to tell him I needed cash...again. I thought my Dad was gonna be much more pissed than he was...I don't know what I would do without the loving family I have! And then after that I called Jeremy so I could get a ride home. Then called my brother Ryan to vent, I'm glad that my bro doubles as a best friend. Sorry this blog was more of a vent than it was funny!
Can I bum a cig?

I walked outside yesterday and could smell roman in the air...so am I poor or have I honed in my nose smeller? Trust me it's a poor thing :P So I am now done with my Starbucks training! I tried to go to bed early but our fire alarm went off three times last night for long periods of time...thanks that was fun...oh well I met my neighbor as we talked over the alarm, seems like a nice guy. I tried talking to someone last night and I think I made their night worse :/ so didn't really feel to good about that and said I had to toto bed early if I would have known about the fire alarms I would have stayed up...hindsight is always 20/20.
It's suppose to rain for a few days and those few days I have off fml! So should I keep posting my life story???
Thx friends

My burning bridges tour

        I could have spit on Steven Tyler yesterday but found it better to just be like isn't that Areosmith...later my co-worker confirmed, he came into our store yesterday.
       I recently was riding my bike up the canyon and came to hollywood blvd which is normally pretty busy you are going to want to use the crosswalk.  I have waited here a good while on my bike before, as I watched the carefully dressed people drive by I noticed a girl across the street.  She was blonde and skinny she kept pressing the crosswalk button as if the last time she pressed it the street light forgot about her.  She kept doing this weight shift putting all her weight on one foot and then switching to the other.  Have you ever worked in the food/service industry?  Well if you have you probably have had the customer who gets clearly isn't happy with their order, it always seems to be some middle aged woman not over weight but is on her way there....you know who im talking about? She thinks that you live to work at McDonalds and feels like wasting 5 mintutes of everyones time just to make people more made than she was that her Mcdouble didn't come up to par. Anywho thats the attitude it looked like the skinny blonde had.  She had had it, enough was enough she was gonna cross the road without the cross walk... I'm like ohhh look at this. For a second I wondered why I ever waited for the the little blue man to appear for me to cross the road, maybe its because of what they teach you when your little, like if you want a for sure way to cross the street safely use the cross walk.  But this bitch couldn't wait she took off staring off to the left first crossing the first two lanes, and saw a Toyota FJ Crusier  coming, which in my opinion she could have made it fine if she would have never stopped.  Little had I known that the skinny blonde had a secret hand power that magically stopped traffic.... or at least she thought she did, she stopped in the middle lane stuck out her arm with her hand up revealing her palm.  She had must have tried this trick before crossing traffic to get the car to stop, as if you didn't have your hand up they would just ignore you standing in the path of their car.   So she enters the lane of the Crusier, I look at the cruiser and it did that thing that all SUV's do when you get on the gas, the front end raised and the engine roared. This guy was gonna hit this girl.  The girl looked confused and scared and decided to reverse and go back to the middle lane.  As she stood in the middle lane the little blue man flicked on and I started crossing the street, we met eyes when I passed her, she looked embarrassed...as she should, I would be so pissed if my hand power didn't work.
              Its funny how people like to compare things, like ask you would you rather questions.  I am a huge fan of would you rathers, but its funny how people would be like would you rather makeout with any girl you want to or,.... only ever makeout with one girl but you will be happy forever.  Who wouldn't take the happy forever option...duh but yeah that's the kind of thing I ask people all the time..jokes on me.

END  :P

Life is what you make it

       Don't know whose winning right now me or my hair....Marc gave me a mohawk last night it is defiantly  different than I'm used to...but hey at least I won't need a haircut for a while.
       So this sucks to talk about but I am nervous about having to move home if I can't make rent...which seems like a horrible possibility....but things normally work out for the best....right????  I would love to do some extra work but it turns out that the film bis ends here the 17th and doesn't start up when I need it too so I guess for now that is a January thing. #needextrajobsstat
         I read a minimalist blog last night and it spoke a lot of truth so let me spread some of this truth to you. Its weird the things I own are worth money and are nice to have but if I were to sell my Jamis for example it could go for about $300 but after I sold it I wouldn't have any means to get another bike.  Its kinda like emotional attachment because if it goes I would have cash but would be out a kick-ass bike.  Of course selling my bike is just an example but it sucks.  Speaking of biking I took the Fuji yesterday to Beverly hills which is like a 10 mi round trip if you took my path.  It was pretty cool I got to see a lot of houses and a lot of possible illegal immigrants working on their lawns :P  Anywho it is really sweet up there and I gotta saw Weezer had it right.....Beverly Hills...Thats where I want to be! :D
       Getting way better at making Starbucks drinks...FYI which I'll be getting up in 11 hours to do that all over again.
     I have been going to the beach more, Marc and I went two days ago and took the Fuji and my long board and it was a blast boarding on the beach. (almost hit a lady had to dive into the sand off my board).
      Dueces

Remember life is what you make it....mine as well make it good...we only get to stay here once

Los Angeles eats its young

        Almost done with training at Starbucks!  I had to work early which stinks but its like the quietest I get to see LA so not too bad.  When I got to work there was a crazy lady who said she was robbed at night ....but like i said she was crazy so my boss had to call the police to come pick her up...."excuse me....thats enough free ice water."  I was talking to my boss and he told me he could probably hook me up with some cheap headshots later...its nice to see people who I just met whiling to pull some strings for me.  I want lights for underneath my skateboard...it looks sweet, also digging the beach boarding...kinda wanna go right now but I have already biked and ran...not that it even matters.
       I have noticed that when I have wore sunglasses to go running up the canyon that people in LA love to stare if you are wearing shades.....sure I'm staring too because they won't break eye contact but they don't know cuz I have a clever forcefield around my eyes....people in LA need to do what I do to stare.... I mean protect my eyes from ultraviolet rays and get some shades its much less creepy...take or leave it.

In case you don't see me, good morning, good evening, and goodnight

bla bla...dubbie bla

       Went to Newport Beach today it was pretty sweet.  I brought my board and they had a nice sidewalk going along the beach, however it was pretty foggy so I really couldn't see much.  I have great news.....it is only Thursday so I don't have to work tomorrow!!  California is starting to feel like home, I have also learned a new chore I have to do every two days which is re-blow up my air mattress.  I don't know if you have ever looked at air mattresses but mine is the shit...ok...for real...for being a blow up mattress its a queen and is pretty high off the ground, its kinda like  Ford Taurus of beds...it will get you from a to b and your grateful you have it but its still only mediocre.
      I got a smile from an old lady and a hi today while riding my skateboard and I instantly loved that old lady...just saying she seemed pretty cool...lives at the beach.
      So what do you think we should do with North Korea... apparently we are trying to get China to take care of that situation.
       Vaughn my Jamis is like jumping gears and the chain will cease up and you can't peddle but thinking of just getting rid of it, I'm really liking having a road bike.

Peace and love,
TB

second rate and no room to negotiate

      So I was thinking today about the homeless which is something I'm not really too used too.  So I thought you know I must be pretty lucky that if I were to run out of money I could always call my parents and they would send me some money to go back home, not that I take advantage of that.  I am just saying it sure would suck to have not as good as family as I do! What if you were homeless and had no family... no one is going to help you out you are stuck in a horrible position. Gotta be grateful for what you have, for sure.
        I know you hate to see a Michael Moore plug but you should probably see his movie Capitalism  a Love Story.  It made me feel like we can do something in this world worth while if we are willing to fight for it.  
       Sometimes being a smart-ass isn't always to your advantage.... okay actually never really is to my advantage.  I mean I can't really think of being a smart-ass is to your advantage just kinda makes you seem kinda dickish.....self note. :P
     So now for my day..... I started the day bright and early at 4am as I drove to Starbucks.   I started driving not really paying attention besides the fact that I new my Starbucks was on Santa Monica Blvd.   Turns out that my Starbucks is only like two blocks from Beverly Hills cuz I drove there on accident earlier you just can't mistake the Beverly Hills signs.   So I worked it was easy today.  I biked up the mountain today ran up till the first stop and hiked the rest until the top, which it was very hot today and everyone had their shirt off.  So I'm like damn after halfway through my run that I wanted to take my shirt off and run maybe get a tan....sure what the hell.   So I'm like man I feel like I have more energy than I normally do this far into the run so I decided to take a run back up a dirt trail, I took it at a really fast pace and passed a guy not much longer I fell infront of the walker who was infront of me.  I started rolling clinging on to my shirt and Iphone ...both in separate in my hands.  Nothing was damaged I just rolled over and got back on my feet and waved to the guy coming to my rescue after falling but everything seemed alright....Minus the little bit of blood that was lost nothing but scrapes.  I think today was good and tomorrow the plan is Newport Beach!!!!

Peace and Love!
TB

still having issues about letting go : /

      My mom sent me an e-mail today that told me my loans are coming due here very soon, which makes me feel like life is rough :P  Which leads me to trying some extra work on the side to make some extra cash! Sounds fun enough.
      It sure must be easy to go on a power trip.  I think to start a power trip you have to totally respect the thing you are going to power trip about.   They are like something you see and don't really wanna believe or be around but hey it happens...just experienced some of this today it was an interesting dose.
     I decided to save money today and bike to work which was pretty sweet because its all downhill.  Riding back was a little harder but am getting good at riding in this traffic (knock on wood).
     Oh yeah North Korea....WTF?
 PEEEEACE

Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway

        As I lay in bed at night and hear the multiple car alarms that go off, like to think it's safe :P but really it's safe I just can't say how safe it is for a car outside!  Somethings I think of some killer idea like yesterday I read something about a spin off Venom movie at first I was like sweet and I downloaded a Venom wallpaper from google and as I went to apply it I just couldn't because as it turns out I really could careless :P

      I saw a red couch today on the side of the road flipped over.  I'm like we do already have a couch but I had to check it out....always looking to upgrade.  It was nice but it had been hoboed....the proof was clear as day as a hobo hat lie on the cushion.  As I walked away from the hoboed couch I thought damn that is a smart hobo taggin his shit and all! #supersmartLAhobos

        Depression effects a lot of people and today I read an article which in a study had found that meditating is as effective as anti-depressants, the participants who were given the placebo had placebo results :P Today I ran up the mountain for the first time in a few days and forgot how good it makes you feel.

TB

We debouch upon a newer mightier world, varied world

Dude so had work at 5:30 this  morning which I thought was gonna be horrible it wasn't bad after four shots of expresso.  Also had plans the other day to go see a play but we left too late from the apt and missed it...bummer.  Have you ever heard of The Postal Service ...turns out they are the lead singer from Death Cab for Cutie's former band! After living in LA it is evident how crazy shit can get... for instance my  Jamis is now broken :( luckily the Fuji is going strong :P
Got a poem for yeah if you can dig it.

Immitation poem – The Mower by Philip Larkin

Death anyway

The jeep stopped, bounced; I looked under the jeep

the deer was stuck in-between the bumper and front tire,

still twitching.  Only trying to jump the fence.

I had wounded this deer a night before, the arrow was still in it.

Finally dead tortured for three days, had come to an end.

Limp.  Dragged for many yards.

I would see another day. It  would lay emotionless on the side of the road.

Hunting that day, it would not come by the bait pile anymore.

My life went on, if it would have looked both ways

It wouldn’t be here either way,

By my arrow or bumper

Later Gator

We debouch upon a newer mightier world, varied world

Dude so had work at 5:30 this  morning which I thought was gonna be horrible it wasn't bad after four shots of expresso.  Also had plans the other day to go see a play but we left too late from the apt and missed it...bummer.  Have you ever heard of The Postal Service ...turns out they are the lead singer from Death Cab for Cutie's former band! After living in LA it is evident how crazy shit can get... for instance my  Jamis is now broken :( luckily the Fuji is going strong :P
Got a poem for yeah if you can dig it.

Immitation poem – The Mower by Philip Larkin

Death anyway

The jeep stopped, bounced; I looked under the jeep

the deer was stuck in-between the bumper and front tire,

still twitching.  Only trying to jump the fence.

I had wounded this deer a night before, the arrow was still in it.

Finally dead tortured for three days, had come to an end.

Limp.  Dragged for many yards.

I would see another day. It  would lay emotionless on the side of the road.

Hunting that day, it would not come by the bait pile anymore.

My life went on, if it would have looked both ways

It wouldn’t be here either way,

By my arrow or bumper

Lator Gator

How about a older short story I wrote

Detached

By Todd Bauer

An empty school hallway is lit up with high school students.  One by the name of Aaron, a short sophomore wearing a blue button down shirt with classic faded jeans walks out of a class room by himself looking at the other students, hiding his depression.  He walks to his locker that has no pictures, just books and a heavy fall jacket in case it gets too cold.  He always made sure he was ready for a cold day in Colorado. 

            As he walked out he watched the girl he had asked on a date two months ago, Katie, who was about five five with shoulder length dark hair.  She had said yes to the date, but Aaron’s truck broke down that night and she had thought he had blown her off.  He tried to explain but she didn’t believe him even though she liked him just as much as he liked her. 

             His only two friends, Kyle and Brandon, surrounded his locker.  These guys hung out with Aaron at school but never hung out after school.  Aaron didn’t like playing sports but had the need to talk to people.  Being unusually short, he felt like he never fit in, and from school he would always drive his 1987 Chevy pick-up home to an empty house.

His mother died two years ago while driving down an icy mountain in a blizzard and hit an oncoming semi.  He was in the 8^th grade when it happened and his dad drove to the scene right away.  His mother was trapped inside of her mini-van barely conscious.  The EMTs were waiting for the Jaws of Life to get her out.  His dad was talking to an EMT and Aaron was at the car crying while his mom just stared into his eyes as an EMT had his hand on Aaron’s shoulder.  His mother died before his father returned to the minivan.

Aaron had never been the same after this; his dad was a truck driver who wasn’t home much and Aaron never had anyone he could really talk about the accident with so he kept it inside of him and when he was sad he would think of his last moments with his mother and it made him sink deeper into a hidden depression.

            Brandon had asked Aaron what he was doing that weekend.  Aaron had been planning this afternoon for a month.  He had explained that his father and him were having pizza tonight and going to a movie. It was a lie his father wouldn’t be home till about ten o’clock that night and Aaron knew no one would really notice him going into the Colorado Mountains. 

            He had felt really distant from everyone in his life and had no one to talk to he really desired a girlfriend to talk to.  But he felt he had lost his chance with Katie and didn’t think she wanted to talk to him.

            He walked into the school parking lot, watching couples walk out together and get in a single cab truck.  The girl would sit in the middle seat and be snuggled up to her boyfriend.  Aaron really wanted this but knew no one would like him like that since no one ever talks to him.

            It was a 70-degree day probably the last one of the year.  The trees were of that autumn color they should be in October.  He opened the door to his truck as it squeaked open after never having put any oil on it.  He drove home as if it was another day in the life of Aaron.  He turned the key to his truck and the engine roared as it had always done.  His pocket vibrated and he got a text from his father saying he wouldn’t be home till midnight.  He wasn’t too close to his father, but he was trying to make an effort after his mother died.  He put his phone back in his pocket and took the hunting knife out of the glove box that his mother and father gave him for deer hunting for this 15^th birthday thinking, he would get into the sport.  He never did, and had never used that knife.  It was in a leather sleeve with a button over the handle so it would stay in.  He unsnapped it and tested the sharpness on his arm hair; he cut part of his arm and knew it was sharp enough. 

            He started driving up to the make out point where he always wanted to take Katie and see if anything would happen.  This point was above the town in the mountains, you could see the all the lights of the town from up here at night. 

            The shifter clicked into park when he arrived and parked the truck pointing toward the town that didn’t understand his problems.  He got out looked at the town then looked down at the ground for a brief second and saw a frog eat a fly.  He thought of the easy life the frog had only, had to sleep and catch flies.  He tightened his hiking boots up, strapped his knife to his belt, turned away from the town, and started walking up the mountain. 

            He could never foresee the future, which had played a big part in his life.  But had seen this day for about a month, planning on his father not being home till late.  He was walking on a deer path and scared out two doe’s he had saw.  He had taken this walk before and was looking for a stump that was about five hundred yards away. 

            He thought he would not be missed; his only real friends were on his Xbox and had no idea where they could possibly live.  Brandon and Kyle never asked to do anything outside of school and knew they would be mildly affected with his choice.

            He came to the stump, and brushed off the leaves and most of the rotten wood around it.  Turned around and sat down he could feel how dirty this stump was on his ass.  He took out his knife and set it next to him starring at it as if it was a portal to a new world where things might change.  He bowed his head and said a prayer hoping God would forgive his choice. 

            He picked up the cold knife and pulled up his black long sleeve shirt.  The air was much colder up here than it was in the valley.  He brushed the blade over his arm hair to test the sharpness, the hair was stuck to the blade.  He lifted his shirt up and wiped the blade on his shirt underneath his sweatshirt.

            He held his arm out and brought the blade to his wrist; put it on the skin and pulled firmly towards himself. His eyes started watering right away, and a longing yell was held out.  His crying reminded himself of a small child who cries for no reason; he didn’t think his death would be this painful.  He lay back on the large stump and tried not to look at his bleeding wrist.  He thought of how nice it would be to see his mother again and to be out of this painful world where no one paid attention to him. 

            Fifteen minutes had passed and he grew light headed.  He could not understand why he was not dead yet.  He twitched as his cell phone went off, and used his right hand which wasn’t damaged to see who would care to talk to him in the last minutes of his life.  He was amazed as if it was a sign from God, the blue back light on the phone read Katie.  His heart started pumping harder and the blood started flowing out faster he brought the phone up to his ear and tried not to sound distressed.

            He struggled to get the first word out but then said, “Hi!” “Hi, Aaron I was wondering if you aren’t doing anything tonight if you wanna come over and watch a movie, and maybe make some popcorn?” Katie asked. “Yeah, sure that sounds fun.”  Aaron replied, whom was really struggling to hang on to this phone.  “Well how about you come over at 9” She said.  Aaron said sure and hung up the phone.

            Things seemed to make sense, his dad used to take him out hunting when he was younger and had taught him how to take care of a wound.  He took his sweatshirt off and one sock; he tied the sock on his super arm to stop blood from flowing as fast and wrapped his sweatshirt firmly around his wrist.  He stood up and stumbled to the nearest Pine tree.  He thought he would be able to make it too his truck.  He took three very deep breaths and started walking the 500 yards back to his truck. 

            Walking at a very quick pace he tripped over a root that was sticking out of the ground like a stem on an apple.  He fell quickly to the ground like a tree being cut down he started crying for help.  Three minutes had passed and he had decided to do the only thing that could save him.  He dialed 911 and explained to them where he was and that he was unable to move and cut himself about 20 minutes ago.  They said the could have an ambulance there in less then 20 minutes, he knew he didn’t have that much time.  He told them they needed to be here in five and closed the phone.  He started to get chills and couldn’t help closing his eyes.  He made himself open them every now and then to see if an ambulance was there.

            He started to hear a buzzing noise in the distance his fear was the bees, which he was very allergic too.  He started to think maybe he was really supposed to die.  He closed his eyes tight so they wouldn’t get in his eyes.  He thought he was hallucinating because the bees were so loud.  Then he felt a man’s hands on his head, and him say open your eyes if you are still conscious.  He opened his eyes and saw three paramedics loading him onto a stretcher with a device connected to the helicopter hovering above.  His hair was being pulled back like a news anchor in a hurricane.

            The paramedics tapped on the stretcher and gave the thumbs up to the helicopter.  His twitching heightened as the basket he was in, was swinging like a pendulum.  He could hear the people in the helicopter screaming something but the sound of their voice and the movement of their mouths were working like an old Jackie Chan movie not matching up well.  He was very confused and figured he would never grace the ground again after being picked up.

            A red glove reached out and grabbed the basket pulling Aaron into the helicopter. He had asked what was wrong but Aaron could not respond even though he was trying.  The red-gloved man took his sweatshirt off from his wrist and opened a bang, which looked like sand was in it and poured it over the cut.  He had said, “Things will be fine this will stop the bleeding.”  He could not help but to close his eyes.

            He awoke just in time to have five people with masks all around him it was very crowded.  A skinny man with a rather large mustache came running into the room with a red bag of blood and handed it to the doctor in the blue scrubs.  He unhooked the IV and put in the blood. He had started to feel better after an hour had gone by.  The blue scrub-wearing doctor walked out of the room for a second and had brought back in Aaron’s dad.  He had a stern face but was completely red and wet from tears, he had hugged Aaron and told him to never pull anything like that again.

            He had skipped the next Monday of class too ashamed of being seen in public after his stunt, which was reported on the 11 o’clock news that same night.  He called Katie that night and told her he would still like to hang out if it were possible.  He would never tell anyone that, her phone call is what saved his life, figured it might sound creepy.  She agreed for a movie date on Friday.  He would have never thought it would have worked out that way.

            He came into class on Tuesday when he walked into school it was nothing like he would have thought.  He imagined people starring at him as if he was some freak of nature, but instead he felt embraced by almost everyone he talked to that day.

            He got in his old truck and drove out to the site where he thought he would have ended his chapter.  He had the knife in hand and carved through the blood in that old rotten stump, “Aaron Patton, 11/8/91 –.”  He took the knife and stabbed it in the stump and walked away leaving the bloody knife in the only thing that was dead.

shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker

Today marks day two at Starbucks which turned out to be a lot more reading.  On a good note I met three nice people today and struck up a convo with a stranger who also seemed very nice.  When training today (while not reading) the girl who is doing my training told me she came to cali from Florida and told me meeting people is super hard here.... not exactly what I wanted to hear but defiantly a thing where you have to put yourself out there if you wanna meet anyone but I gotta say its tough.
       Also I would like to share some knowledge that as of a few months ago it was unknown to me.  After a great senior year and a fantastic time at the bookstore ;) my good friend Aaron was able to get us both a job working in Arizona working with some interesting crack heads :P .....but really.  We only spent about two months helping remodel Walmarts into Super Walmarts! Which isn't that exciting and I erge you if you can, not to shop there....because they support slave labor and treat their employees unfairly. :(
       Anywho we came back to Michigan a few days before classes would start for Aaron.  By the way at this time I thought I would be outta Michigan in around two months.  We made it in time for the Welcome the Fuck back party,  which I am glad I didn't pull the I'm too tired card that night cuz I ended up meeting a really cool person who would then proceed to distract me until I ended up leaving for Cali :/ So two almost three more months at the bookstore when I came back from Arizona till the time I moved to Cali.  However , the time spent in Michigan was bitter sweet and I'm glad I got to spend the time with the people I did. I miss all of you!!!
TB